It was a dreary day at Balamb Garden
by Barb
Summary: Rinoa throws a party and Zell gets a surprise. A followup, but not quite a sequel to It was a Sunny day...


It was a dreary day at Balamb Garden. The kind of overcast, rainy day that all fan-fics like this one start out on. Or perhaps it was just a lame attempt to incorporate a title into this story.  
Zell confidently walked down the hall, nearing the cafeteria. This time he remembered where he was supposed to be going; Unlike last week when he was suppose to meet Squall at the dormitory, where he suddenly decided to tell Zell he was gay. Zell still wanted to punch Seifer into a wall for making that bet.  
Entering the cafeteria, he spotted Rinoa sitting at the table she said she'd wait for him at.  
"Zell!" Rinoa greeted when she noticed his presence.  
"Hiya Rinoa! What's up?"  
"I needed to ask you a favor."  
"Sure! Whaddya need?"  
"Why don't you sit down." Rinoa pointed to the chair across from herself.  
Zell obeyed.  
"I'm having a little get-together with a few old friends, about fifty-two to be exact, and I need a few things from Balamb."  
"What about everyone else? Can't Quistis or somebody go?"  
"They're all helping me set up decorations in the Quad."  
"Oh."  
"……………"  
"Uh…..whaddya need?"  
Rinoa motioned for him to lean in closer, yet he didn't.  
"Come here, you dork!" She yelled, yanking him closer by his collar.  
Zell's face grew puzzled as Rinoa whispered him the items she wanted him to pick up.  
"What the hell?! No way, man! Why do you need that kinda crap in the first place?"  
"I've been talking about this for weeks, Zell. I TOLD you it was a girl's night kind of thing."  
Zell slowly tried to back away.   
"Please?" Rinoa grinned sweetly, subtly flashing a few hundred gil in front of Zell's face.  
"Fine." He snatched the money out of her hand and headed back to his room to find his hoverboard.  
  
---------  
  
"Uh, Selphie?"  
"Yes, Irvy?" She smiled, cocking her head to the side.  
"What holiday are you decorating for, again?"  
Selphie sighed, holding up two cardboard cutouts: one of an Easter egg, the other of Laguna, "I don't know. Rinoa told me to decorate, so I'm decorating! Besides, we always forget about president's day, so I thought now would be a good time to use all these pictures of Sir Laguna."  
Irvine nodded slowly as Selphie found a place to paste a pink paper heart: along side a colorful Christmas tree made of hand cutouts.  
  
Meanwhile, Seifer sits in a corner of the kitchen, sampling music for Rinoa's party while waiting for Quistis to finish ordering hot dogs for that night.  
"Da da, dat dat da, da na na..hmmm hmm hm" Seifer sang to himself, sitting amongst a pile of CDs.  
" 'Cause IIIII want it thaaa-a-aat waa-a-aaaaaay" he held a fake microphone to his mouth.  
"The Backstreet Boys?" Quistis questioned from behind him, laughing.  
"NO!!!" he replied, frantically searching for a distraction, "I…I….was listening to…Metallica. Yeah! Metallica!! See?" He shoved a Metallica CD in her face.  
"Seifer, this case still has the disc in it."  
"Oh, yeah. Of course it does. I ALWAYS carry MY copy of that CD in my CD player." He stated, confidently.  
"Ok….Seifer." She said, slowly.  
"You don't believe me, do you?" He said, jumping out of the CD pile.  
"I think it's kind of cute you listen to the Backstreet Boys." Quistis chuckled.  
"You do?" he said, dreamily, "Wait, NO!!" He pulled Quistis inches from his face, "You can't tell anyone about this." He whispered frantically, "No one! Not Rinoa or Selphie or ANYONE! And especially not Raijin and Fuujin, they think I'm a God! What kind of God listens to the Backstreet Boys?!"  
"A cute one?" She pulled closer to him.  
"No!" He pushed her away and Quistis frowns.  
"I'm done here. Let's go." She said flatly, walking out of the cafeteria, not stopping to wait for Seifer.  
"But aren't you going to help me carry all these CDs?"  
  
"Selphie….I think you're done decorating now." Irvine said, taking Christmas ornament hooks out of his coat.  
"Where do you think I should put these?" She said, ignoring his comment.  
Irvine looked around the room for any available space. The walls, floors, and ceiling were covered in tinsel and decorations.  
"I think there's room on that light switch over there." He pointed.  
"Thanks, Irvine. And would you be a sweetheart and go get me that box of miniature flags and Christmas lights from under my bed?"  
Irvine sighed, "Why not."  
  
---------  
  
Hours later, Zell still wasn't back and Rinoa's party had been going on for quite some time. Sadly, all was "not well" as Rinoa pulled Squall into a corner to talk.  
"Squall, you have to help me!"  
"What."  
"It's my sorceress powers. I think I might be becoming possessed!"  
"So?"  
Rinoa slapped the back of his head, "Stupid. Help!"  
"What am I suppose to do?"  
"Cid's out of town, but we need to get a hold of him. You, Seifer and Irvine go to Deling City. He's at a business convention there."  
"Ok." Squall obediently ran off.  
Rinoa grinned evilly, rubbing her hands together, 'possessed my ass. Zell should be here any minute with-'  
"DAMN!" She cried out in pain. "What the heck…...? Ah, well."  
Rinoa walked away from the edge of the food table where she had been standing. Little did she know, the reason for her screech was the sparks that leaped from her fingers into the now-contaminated hot dogs….  
  
"Nice party, Rinoa." A girl commented as she walked by Rinoa's table.  
"Yeah, and great hot dogs."  
"Thanks." Rinoa replied.  
"Wow." She remarked as she looked at the food table, "They really MUST'VE been some hot dogs: they're all gone."  
"They were O.k." Quistis said.  
"They DO look pretty good. Even for Balamb's hot dogs." Xu remarked.  
"I should've had one."  
"I had five!" Selphie declared.  
Suddenly, a voice timidly called from outside the Quad, "rinoa?"  
"zell's here!" Rinoa whispered to them, before dashing to the entryway.  
"Zell! Did you bring….?"  
Zell's face was bright red as he slowly nodded. He handed her grocery bag filled with whip cream and body frosting.  
"Gee, thanks Zell. But where's….?" she said, frantically looking around Zell's shoulders.  
"Where's Antonio?"  
"Antoni-wha?"  
"Antonio! The stripper I hired! You were supposed to get him, too! Dork!"  
"Uh, sorry?"  
Rinoa growled and shoved the bag back into his arms, then stormed to the parking lot to go pick Antonio up, herself.  
Zell groaned, "Might as well see if there's any food left."  
Zell enter the quad with the bag still in his arms. Across the room, he spotted a silver platter on which a solitary hot dog still sat. Immediately, Zell dropped the bag and sprinted towards the table. Sadly, before he could reach it, Xu snatched it away.  
"Xu!" Zell sobbed.  
"Sorry, Zell. This hot dog has my name written all over it." She said, waving it in front of his face, "Besides. You're not even supposed to be here."  
"Please, Xu, please?" He begged, ignoring her.  
"Sorry, Zell." She said, devouring the hot dog right in front of his face.  
"Noooo!"  
Suddenly, Xu felt *different*. Like her eyes had been opened to something she'd never noticed before. Xu had the overwhelming urge to kiss Zell.  
"You could've at least let me have that ONE hot dog. I never get-"  
"Have I ever told you how cute you look when you get mad?" Xu sighed dreamily as she pulled Zell close to her.  
"Um, no? How about you don't." He said, pushing her away.  
"But Zell, I-"  
At that moment, Rinoa reappeared with a large, muscular man with long blond hair who wore nothing but a g-string and a bow tie. And on a side note, seemed to be very gifted in his *maleness*.  
"Look, Xu! It's Antonio!" Zell said, pointing.  
"You're the only man for me." Xu giggled, hugging his arm.  
"Arg!" Zell ripped away from Xu, running towards Rinoa.  
"Rinoa, I think there's something wrong with Xu. Has she had anything to drink, tonight?"  
"No, why?"  
"Because-"  
Zell didn't get a chance to answer as a hoard of drooling females came running in their direction. Antonio grinned and began to dance seductively, slowly removing what little he was wearing. Rinoa and Zell moved off to a corner to talk, but the group switched its direction, heading directly for Zell, knocking Rinoa to the ground as they pushed her aside. Zell was soon welcomed unexpectedly by women ripping at his shirt and shoving cash in his pants.  
"AAAARRG!!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?" He screamed, running full pelt out of the Quad.  
Antonio stood g-stringless near the entryway, wondering where all his clothing had gone after he'd taken it off.  
  
---------  
  
Zell breathed heavily as he sunk into a puddle by the directory, where it was raining. He took note of the fact that his shirt and one of his shoes seemed to be missing as he shoveled money out of his pants. His entire body was drenched and his hair was soaking wet, though it still maintained it's normal shape. He threw handfuls of fives and ones onto the walkway, stopping now and then to put a fifty in his pocket.  
"I believe that belongs to me." A seductive voice said from beside him, snatching a twenty from his hands.  
"Uh…um….Hi…………..Selphie……" he voice was shaky.  
"And hellooooooooo Zell." She said, sitting on his lap as she began to unzip his jeans.  
"NO, NO, NO!" he said, pushing himself closer to the directory as he re-zipped his pants, "What's up with you?"  
"Nothing…."she replied, hugging his chest, "I just suddenly realized how handsome and perfect you are."  
"Me? N-no. I think you- What the hell are you doing?!" he stuttered as she slowly stuffed the money she'd taken from him back down his pants.  
"You know what's more fun than shoveling money down your pants?" She whispered, tracing his tattoo with her pointer finger.  
Zell shook his head furiously.  
"Digging aaaaaaall the way down for change."  
But before Selphie could break her twenty, a shadowy figure appeared from behind her.  
"Stop right there." A voice boomed.  
Zell breathed a sigh of relief as Selphie left himself to be the only thing occupying his pants.  
"You stole that line from a greeting card."  
The voice belonged to Quistis.  
"So? Whatcha gonna do about it?" she snorted.  
"Turn you in for sexually assaulting another student. Now go." She barked.  
Selphie glared at her then ran the other direction.  
"Hey thanks, Quisty." Zell said, standing up while wiping the rain from his face.  
"Good. Now we can be alone." Quistis purred, pinning Zell to the floor, again.  
"Wh-what?"  
"I can't contain my feelings for you any longer Zell. I want you to feel how much I *want* you." She said, running her hands up his bare chest.  
"But, but…..what about Selphie? You said you'd turn her in for assaulting me, why can't I turn you in?" He babbled.  
Quistis pulled her whip from her belt and wrapped it around Zell's neck, "Because I'm an instructor. I'm *suppose* to discipline."  
  
---------  
  
Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the Quad, Rinoa sat at a table with Antonio, who had explained after he had regained his clothing that he was only a stripper on the weekends and worked as a professor of sorcery the rest of the week (except for Wednesdays, when he was a psychic).  
"…And they all started ripping at his clothes and shoving money down his shorts." Rinoa explained, making clawing gestures with her hands.  
Antonio nodded knowingly, "I've zeen casez like zis before. Tell me, vas zer any type of food or beverage zat vas consumed generously at zis little affair? Any-zing at all?"  
"Well, we did have a lot of hot dogs, but-"  
"Exactly. And did you come in contact vith any of zem?"  
"No, I didn't even eat one."  
"Hmmm…..have you recently been shocked, numb, or had any other sensations such as zees?"  
"Yes, when I was……talking to Squall……...by the hot dogs……...rubbing my hands together……"  
"Zere you are! Zee ztatic electricity from your fingertips traveled into zee hot dogs that vonce sat on zat silver platter over zer. Thus, contaminating zee hot dogs, causing your guests to fall in love with zat young man."  
"But why Zell?"  
"Zee man whom zis affects must consume or have a passionate love for hot dogs."  
Rinoa nodded, "But how do I stop this?"  
"Zee only cure iz to listen to zee 'Back-Street Boys'." He said slowly.  
Rinoa head sunk, "Please tell me you're not serious."  
"I am afraid, so." He said.  
"Thank you." She sighed, beginning to leave the quad.  
After two steps she turned back, "You're not related to…"  
"Odine? No! I am GERMAN. Zer iz no family resemblance zat you zee, no?"  
"Ok, ok. I was just wondering…"  
  
---------  
  
"I can't believe she sent us all the way to Deling City when Cid wasn't even there." Irvine pouted as Seifer, Squall and himself re-entered the garden.  
"Yeah, I don't know why she'd do that." Squall mumbled.  
The sky was just clearing as they neared the directory where Quistis still had Zell pinned. She raised her whip behind her and Zell covered his head, trying to curl into a ball.  
"Quistis!!" Seifer shouted, running to remove her from Zell.  
"Get your hand off of me, Seifer!" Quistis said, ripping his hands away.  
"What do you think you're doing, Chicken Wuss?!" He yelled at Zell.  
Zell flinched, "………"  
"Don't you touch my Zelly-welly." Quistis cooed, attaching herself to Zell, "I'm not your property, Seifer Almasy!"  
Zell looked at his feet, then at Seifer, then the sky, "………"  
"But Quistis," Seifer began, "I-"  
But he didn't get to finish as Rinoa's voice came blaring over the speakers.  
"Hello everyone, this is Rinoa."  
Everybody winced and covered their ears at an ear-piercing squeal.  
"Since it's been such a dreary day here at Balamb Garden, I thought that everyone could use a little cheering up. So, sit back and enjoy."  
Squall closed his eyes, secretly praying Rinoa wouldn't sing. To his relief, a familiar song began playing.   
Quistis suddenly let go of Zell. 'Oh my gosh. What was I doing? Where are my pants?' She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw she still had them on. 'I'm going to *kill* Zell' she thought.  
Seifer's eyes suddenly grew wide and he began to slowly walk away.  
"……'Cause IIIII want it thaaat waay……"  
"Seifer!!" Quistis yelped.  
Seifer struggled, but to no avail, as Quistis grasped his hands tightly and mock-danced with him.  
"It's your song!" She smiled, laughing at his red, embarrassed face.  
Irvine tried to contain his laughter, "Seifer…….the Backstreet Boys?" he whispered to Squall.  
Squall didn't speak, but smiled, satisfied.  
  
"Zell!" A voice called from the walkway right of the directory.  
Zell looked over to find the pig-tailed girl.  
"Are you alright?"  
Zell looked at the ground, then at Seifer and Quistis.  
"What happened?"  
"The fuzzy chocobo saved me and I then I did a special dance." Zell said, nodding.  
The pig-tailed girl scratched her head, "I think you need to spend a few days at Ma's."  
  



End file.
